Will this be a sign for a fatality to come?
Be fatal, if there is a next time.
Take me home. Take me away.
So that, maybe, from the realm of the dead, I’d glimpse your familiar smile again.
Please, please, die already. Please.
Because to die, is probably more alive than living now.
Your heart, I’m sorry.
No excuses. Because I am the wrong.
When soon becomes now, what would you do?
As stupid as it might seem,
I’d wish upon the stars and the sun and the mountains and the seas.
To look over you.
To look after you.
When the moon smiles weakly at me, I’d pray.
For you to stay sane.
That maybe, you’d be safe.
So as stupid it might seem, then stupid I will be.
The walls reverberate with the piercing silence.
The markets and the coffee and the food and the world grow cold.
Because all are monochrome.
The winds break that silence.
The stars and the moon and the bats, they sing me colourful lullabies of you.
But the world, oh, my world, it remains colourless, singing without you.
At the last breath, will one remember the words of Meggie Royer?
Will I see your face and hear your voice?
Will the pain overtake the ache that plagued my heart for the past months?
Will missing finally cease?
When a colourful world fades into monochrome except for one.
To be like books and pages, except I can’t.
And you asked, ‘why?‘; I asked, ‘why?’.
But the voice in me asks, ‘why not?’.
In the face of termination, will one feel fear?
If I were to lie and convince myself, can I evade pain?
A plan is hatching; the time is nigh.
Surely, I will succeed. Surely, you will arrive.
Because you are on my mind, all the time.
Make that deep.
Because the world would stop spinning.
Because the pain would stop hurting.
When the blood flows, when the blood flows.
“When so many wants you dead, it hardly seems good manners to argue.” – Sholto
There were days when you appeared in my thoughts, but reaching out is not exactly an option.
Because the remnants of what used to be a heart isn’t ready for those names that are bound to be mentioned.
Betrayal, it took place on too many different levels and in multiple directions.
It no longer feel safe to speak.
I’m sorry. I wish I could tell you how my darkness needs to shun away from your light.
But because I can’t, so please, figure it out somehow.
Be brave? In what sense?
Be brave to live? Or be brave to die?
Be brave? Be brave.
Tide me over. Tonight, tomorrow, and the days and nights to come.
Because it kills, but I’m not dying.
Because it hurts, but I’m not expiring.
Blunt, blunt, blunt..
So tide me over; tonight, tomorrow, and the days and nights to come.
Till I have enough courage for something heavier.
Till then, help me numb, and tide me over.
Get no sanctuary when my eyes close,
Get no sanctuary at all.
“And if I only have the words to describe how disappointed in you I am at this moment.” – Elementary
The walks and the parks.
蓝 and the pillion.
The cappuccinos and the Devondale chocolate milk.
And all the dinners on the floor.
The single isn’t too small and one is good for two.
Side-by-side isn’t too warm but always just nice and cosy.
Just because. And because.
Don a uniform and bear the responsibilities.
Of living and of death.
Everyone sees. Everyone knows.
But many of us, we don an invisible uniform.
One that spells depression and anxiety.
One that tattoos into your blood and mind.
One that people would never understand and only judge.
Because there would be murmurs and rumours of our abominable deeds.
Of us in the dark; from you in the light.
But we don, we don, an invisible uniform.
And that uniform, it spells silence.
And I wished, I wish to see you in your uniform.
Perspective drawing needs more work. Too.
And the world of tints and tones and shades and lines.
Oh, the world so deformed and twisted, yet also, so fine.
How should I love you
How could I feel you