Sinking anchor

You saw my demons the other day.
When they nonchalantly came out to play.
You were frightened and you ran away.
Leaving me alone with them to stay.

What if I told you they don’t live under my bed,
Neither do they reside within my being?
What if I told you those demons are all me?
And that they would forevermore, always be?

Would my anchor continue sinking, leaving me in the open sea?
In this ocean, stranded alone, I have nowhere to flee.
Perhaps, it’s only my demons and me,
Drifting to a home I’d never come to see

Tug of war

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It’s strange to hold a knife and crave for that satisfaction a bloody ending of self would bring.
The temptation is real. Its scent is sweet.
The tug of war is officially on.

Perhaps this time round, the rational mind resisted and won.
But how long more would it take courage to stir and grow?
How long more before pain overpowers cowardice?

Soon. Maybe.


Don’t wake up, D.
Don’t wake up tomorrow.
Because when your working front falls apart, you’ll crash and burn.

Don’t wake up, D.
Because even if you mean well, every intention you have would still be evil.
You are the devil.
So just sleep on and go to hell.

Don’t wake up, D.
Let those with big words speak loud.
Let those with strength despise the weak.
For you, just sleep on and make someone happy today.

So please, D, stop breathing and don’t wake up tomorrow.

Endless rain

Dreams. I swear I woke up with you by my side.
To see the rise and fall of your chest as you breathe.
To feel the warmth of you being so close by.

I would like to hold your hand and dance under the moonlight.
I would like to see the creases and folds at the corner of your eyes.
Because one moment is forever, and forever lives in that one moment.
Because. Just because.

想 . 好想 .

Morbid thoughts

How sweet you smell.

Yet, how sweet will you taste, when my head hits the gutter?
How sweet will you taste, when my mum holds on to my ashes?

But today, this week, this month, this year…
You smell so sweet. Sickeningly sweet.
And how great my world would be, if today, you’re a reality.